How I Met Your Father

Valentine’s Day, 1984 — Searcy, Arkansas

It’s Valentine’s Day, 1984, in Searcy, Arkansas. I run to my dorm to switch books for afternoon classes and pause to admire three perfect pink roses sitting on the reception desk in the lobby. Wait… they’re for me? The realization brings pleasure with a pinch of guilt. I crinkle my eyes and nose as I lean in to inhale their fragrance. It’s unexpected, this interest Dan Cutts and I have in each other.

At the end of last semester, I had no boyfriend and took a random guy friend to my club Christmas party. I was asked to be part of the entertainment, so the pianist and I performed the Theme from An Officer and a Gentleman. That’s right—“Love, lift us up where we belong.” As I was singing, there was Dan Cutts, the date of another of my friends, staring at me with intensity. I thought to myself, No one else is paying attention… I guess I’ll sing to him. I shouldn’t have done that. I was breaking the sisterhood code of conduct. I sang to him knowing one of my best friends, Kristi, was in love with Dan.

Over winter break, I decided to stop searching so hard for my Mr. Darcy. When I examined my emotional state, I realized I was content being single, with no need to fear that feeling would expire. Spring semester came. At the beginning of the term, Dan moved his chapel seat to our row. He traded places to sit closer to Kristi and me. We heard a rumor—he wanted to ask out someone in our friend group. I thought, Finally, he’s come to his senses. Imagine my shock when his best friend revealed I was the intended. I flashed back to the Christmas party and the frisson I had caused. I should never have sung to him. Guilt. Guilt.

Next, I had to host my social club’s Valentine’s party. Silly me decided it would be fun to “Come as a Famous Couple.” When my friends and I brainstormed who I should take, Kristi surprised me by suggesting I invite Dan Cutts. “He’s a gentleman, and he looks good in pictures,” she assured me.

Guilt upon guilt. Kristi vowed she was over him, saying he would never be more than a friend to her. “You should ask him to your Valentine’s party,” she insisted.

Against my better judgment, I called Dan and asked if he would be willing to dress as Hansel to my Gretel.“You’re not going to believe this,” he said, “but I was planning to ask you out for this Saturday.”

“You’re right—I don’t believe it.” I intended to keep it friendly. He was just a guy many girls took to functions as a safe choice. We’d go on a few dates, and then I’d find a way to make him see Kristi was the perfect match for him.

I didn’t mean to, but over the coming days I found reasons to let my good intentions fade. We went on the date he said he had planned. Before it, I got stuck caring for a friend-of-a-friend’s puppy, and Dan quietly cleaned up puppy messes while I hunted down the owner. The next day, when we sat together at church, I noticed his warm bass voice during worship. To top it off, he never complained when asked to dress as Hansel for my party. He found a cable-knit sweater, hemmed a pair of corduroys into knee pants, borrowed suspenders… he looked the part from the top of his sandy head to his hiking boots.

When we hugged at the end of our dates, I felt safe. The way I fit in his arms—as if we were made to nestle—made me wonder if I should abandon my sisterly intentions.

Now here we are on Valentine’s Day, and I’m looking at these flowers.

I go searching for Dan in the student center. It’s nice outside, so he skips class and takes me for a walk. He holds my hand, and we stop on a little bridge, wondering where the water goes.

“Thank you for the flowers,” I say, leaning in just close enough…

“Flowers?” he feigns innocence.

I’m still right there—close enough—my head tilted back, lips curved in a smile.“You think I sent you flowers?” he teases.

I raise an eyebrow without stepping away.

He finally takes the hint. It is a perfect first kiss.“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Note: I changed the name of my friend who once had a crush on Dan in this story. I still feel guilty to this day. What unwritten codes of conduct would you break for the sake of love?